September 9, 2009

Sorry I couldn't help you out with your wart...

My favorite part of the analytics program I use is reading the keywords people typed into their search engine to get here. Some are pretty interesting...

"diaper humor"
I've heard of potty humor, but diaper humor? I guess if you can find diapers and all that comes with them humorous, more power to you. I'm kind of over them, myself.

"jon gosselin bought new car"
He sure did. And did you hear that another one was delivered to his home over the weekend? Must be nice using your kids' hard-earned money to buy things that a few years ago were only in your dreams.

"sugar 8 hours before bed"
8 hours? I don't think I'd worry too much...

"things that start with p"
I'm pretty sure the only things that start with P you'll find here are Poop, Potty, and Party.

"age kids can unscrew lids"
My experience has been that they can unscrew them before you are ready for them to unscrew them and when you least expect it. And to them, the more mess it will make, the better. Like... fingernail polish. Or peanut butter.

"allinurl: cellulite,"
Just remember, everybody has it and there's nothing you can do about it, so embrace it.

"bags plants"
I can't make sense of this one. Were you looking for a bag to put a plant in? Looking to impress your boss with your plant-bagging skills as a cashier at Lowe's?

"breastfeeding story excruciating pain"
Horrible, wasn't it? And what makes it worse is that the breastfeeding nazi's pretend it doesn't exist, kind of like overly-religious crazies deny the existence of dinosaurs.

"does jon gosselin actually take care of all his kids"
From my observation, yes.... with the help of several nannies, one of whom stays the night occasionally in his garage apartment.

"dug in dirt and developed a wart"
I'm going to guess that it was really that frog that peed on you, and it's just a coincidence.

"furry creatures on keyboard"
I can't decide if this is a problem or not. Generally, furry creatures are cute. As long as they don't bite, I wouldn't worry about it.

"giveaway -book -bsd -bible -mcp -epic -lens-tank -monogrammer"
From what I gather, you were looking for a giveaway for either an epic monogrammed Bible, or a book about an epic monogrammed Bible that is read with a magnifying glass by a soldier. Don't think you found that here, but good luck.

This one speaks for itself.

"lace floors"
I'm tempted to Google this myself.

"something strange happened to me"
Did you see a person with long blonde hair, a beard, and big muscles, wearing a tight pink tank top and blue jean skirt, listening to a Walk-Man, on a bike with a flower basket attached to the front, ride down the side of a busy street? 'Cause I did. Beat that.

"toddler fingernail polish in eye"
Sounds bad. Maybe a trip to the ER would be better than Googling that one.

"how to get kids to cooperate and get stitches removed"
Bribe. With. Candy. It's your only option.


Kaileigh said...

Haha! I always love these... I get an interesting one now and then... but mine are usually pretty boring :( LOL

Amy said...

That's pretty hilarious!

Stephanie said...

Those are funny! I've never tried that before...looks like fun though!

Holly said...

Those are hilarous! And you actually saw that person riding the bike? Weird...

Justin and Jenn said...

OH my goodness- hilarious! What program do you use to find out what people search?

Stephanie said...

Google Analytics!

Children of the 90s said...

Hahaha, that is my favorite part of analytics too! I love that someone searched for Jon Gosselin passionately kissing another woman? with a question mark, like they can't even believe it as they type it into google.

Bridgett said...


Loved the searches and your responses. :)

Bernadette said...

LOL! You're hilarious woman!!

Brandi said...


Tiffany said...

LOL those are hilarious!

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