SMH

SMH is one of those new-fangled acronyms that means “shaking my head”… you probably knew that. I didn’t, until a few weeks ago. I had been seeing it written for a few years and had gotten comfortable hearing it in my head as “smuh”. Which sounds like a confusing noise, so I guess I was close.

I just love to hear what comes out of my kids’ mouths, and they regularly leave me SMH. My first-born daughter said a few things recently that did not disappoint.

I was in the tub last night as the girls were getting ready for bed and brushing their teeth. Summer sat down on the stool close to the tub and peered in at me, particularly an area of my body that is currently undergoing some changes.

“Wow, Mommy… how many gallons of milk to do you have in there now?”

Every day when I drive Summer to school, we pass by the Ohio River. Across the river in Indiana is the Colgate clock, which you can barely see against the skyline. During the darker parts of the day, it has florescent lights where the numerals are.

Summer noticed it during the first few weeks of school.

“Look! A ferris wheel!”

“It looks like a ferris wheel from here, but it’s actually a really big clock.”

“No Mommy, it’s a ferris wheel! It’s definitely a ferris wheel!”

“Nope, it’s definitely a clock.”

We had this conversation at least once a week ever since then. Then last week as we drove past, I glanced over and said, “Look, it’s the ferris wheel.”

Summer sighed, and said, "No Mom… that is a CLOCK.”

Summer is learning so much in Kindergarten. I had a parent-teacher conference last week and heard nothing but good things.

A big part of Kindergarten is learning to write and hopefully read. Summer’s writing has really taken off since the school year started, and she is constantly writing letters, numbers, and words on anything she can.

Apparently someone needs to tell her that if she’s going to deface public property, in this case the drywall in our unfinished bathroom, her name probably isn’t the best choice. It will give you away every time…

Psst.. did you get a chance to read the first ever Mompreneur Monday? If not, please check it out and get to know Becky! I’m looking for a new Mompreneur to feature next week, so if you are interested, send me an e-mail!

Sorry I couldn't help you out with your wart...

My favorite part of the analytics program I use is reading the keywords people typed into their search engine to get here. Some are pretty interesting...

"diaper humor"

I've heard of potty humor, but diaper humor? I guess if you can find diapers and all that comes with them humorous, more power to you. I'm kind of over them, myself.

"jon gosselin bought new car"
He sure did. And did you hear that another one was delivered to his home over the weekend? Must be nice using your kids' hard-earned money to buy things that a few years ago were only in your dreams.

"sugar 8 hours before bed"
8 hours? I don't think I'd worry too much...

"things that start with p"
I'm pretty sure the only things that start with P you'll find here are Poop, Potty, and Party.

"age kids can unscrew lids"
My experience has been that they can unscrew them before you are ready for them to unscrew them and when you least expect it. And to them, the more mess it will make, the better. Like... fingernail polish. Or peanut butter.

"allinurl: cellulite, blogspot.com"
Just remember, everybody has it and there's nothing you can do about it, so embrace it.

"bags plants"
I can't make sense of this one. Were you looking for a bag to put a plant in? Looking to impress your boss with your plant-bagging skills as a cashier at Lowe's?

"breastfeeding story excruciating pain"
Horrible, wasn't it? And what makes it worse is that the breastfeeding nazi's pretend it doesn't exist, kind of like overly-religious crazies deny the existence of dinosaurs.

"does jon gosselin actually take care of all his kids"
From my observation, yes.... with the help of several nannies, one of whom stays the night occasionally in his garage apartment.

"dug in dirt and developed a wart"
I'm going to guess that it was really that frog that peed on you, and it's just a coincidence.

"furry creatures on keyboard"
I can't decide if this is a problem or not. Generally, furry creatures are cute. As long as they don't bite, I wouldn't worry about it.

"giveaway -book -bsd -bible -mcp -epic -lens-tank -monogrammer -cal.vini.st"

From what I gather, you were looking for a giveaway for either an epic monogrammed Bible, or a book about an epic monogrammed Bible that is read with a magnifying glass by a soldier. Don't think you found that here, but good luck.

This one speaks for itself.

"lace floors"
I'm tempted to Google this myself.

"something strange happened to me"

Did you see a person with long blonde hair, a beard, and big muscles, wearing a tight pink tank top and blue jean skirt, listening to a Walk-Man, on a bike with a flower basket attached to the front, ride down the side of a busy street? 'Cause I did. Beat that.

"toddler fingernail polish in eye"
Sounds bad. Maybe a trip to the ER would be better than Googling that one.

"how to get kids to cooperate and get stitches removed"
Bribe. With. Candy. It's your only option.