March 9, 2011

Filling in the Blanks

This post has been edited from it's original version.

Figuring out the right way to write about this has been really difficult. How much to share, how to explain it all… I just don’t know. But, it’s going to be an ongoing part of our “story” forever, and it’s too important not to share with you.

Joe’s mom left he and his sister with their dad when Joe was around 5. Joe’s dad raised them and Joe hadn’t heard from his mom until…

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…Sunday. He got a friend request from her on Facebook. Shocked and not knowing what to expect, he accepted it. A day later, they had their first IM chat.

Joe learned he had a favorite blanket as a baby, just like Camryn does. She knew his favorite color, his favorite food, and how much he hates stickers. He learned that he lived in seven states instead of four like he thought. He learned that he put gum in his sisters hair once.

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Joe also got to chat a bit with his 18-year-old half-brother, Chrisgin, last night. They seem to have a bit in common so I’m sure they’ll be getting to know each other as well.

We’re being careful with this… Joe is guarded, as he should be. But life is too short to not forgive and try to move forward. I can tell he is excited to see where this goes and what else he will learn about himself in the process, and so am I.

21 comments:

Jennifer Kay said...

Wow...what an amazing story.

I know you left out details but she gave up the kids when she was sick with cancer but she is still alive today? She beat the cancer but never came back? So sad, I can't imagine being on either side (hers or Joe's)!!!!

Tricky Nag said...

Good for you having an open mind and listening to this woman's version of events. I hope the reconciliation goes well for your husband - or at least well enough that he gets to know her better and your kids have a chance to get to know her.

The Hancock Family said...

What a touching story. I pray the reconciliation goes well for your family. I was adopted at 1 month of age and am now beginning my search to find my mother. Your story reminds me to have an open mind towards seeing what God places in front of us. Blessings--

Mom of M&Ms said...

I am praying for all of you!!!! God's blessing on this reunion!

Anonymous said...

I just had to write when you shared your story. I have a similar story, just a little different. I was given up for adoption at the age of 4 w/my sis who was 3 at the time. To an abusive family who legally should not have adopted us.....fast forward 19 years-ish and after long searching thru no documentation and possibly an illegal adoption (although no one will talk about it) I found my birth family. I not have 6 sisters (1 still unfound), a brother, and a lot of extended family!! It's been good & bad, but I dont regret finding my family. They are only human too!

Lindsay said...

That is an amazing story. Thanks for sharing with us. I am hopeful about what the outcome may be for Joe and your sweet family.

Lace said...

Wow. I can't even imagine the way Joe felt when he saw her name in his requests. I hope this brings nothing but good things for your family!

Shannon said...

I love this story! I have known Joe (J.D. as I called him lol) since he was a tiny boy...I only know the story from the point when they came to live next to us in Tennessee. I never knew why their mother brought them to their dad, just that she did. Nicole was just a baby then. It is an important piece to his puzzle that he has found! The "right" thing to do for one mother may not be the "right" thing for another...I am so so happy to hear that she has come back into the picture after so many years. I hope Nicole can find healing in this also.

Missy said...

Goodness.. that's a lot to take in. I've been in a similar position where I had a niece enter the family aged 18 which no one knew about...not even her dad (my brother). It's a difficult thing but it's more love and happiness which is a good thing :-)


Just stopping by from FLOB!

Holly said...

I agree life is to short not to forgive.
I hope that they get to know each other more and figure out where to go from here.

Jill said...

I second Holly. What an amazing opportunity to forgive and gain a new relative. :) I hope it all works out.

K said...

Thank you for sharing this. I think its wonderful that Joe is willing to see another side and give her another chance, because it can be hard to move on from something that hurt for so long. I wish them and your family the best of luck!

sweethomeamy said...

Prayers for Joe, his family, and for yours. I hope that only good comes out of this! xoxox

Susie said...

I am praying whatever Joe wants this relationship to turn out to be, it will. I would hate to hear that he got hurt again. Glad he can forgive but be cautious.

gomillion and one... said...

Joes story is so similar to Jeffs. Jeff found his dad and brothers on FB after 25 years. He only met them once when he was 12. Shocking!
I hope things go well. We were blessed that ours did. Good Luck!

clauren said...

Wow, praying for Joe and his strength during this. What an incredible man you have and a father that raised him for them to turn out so great after being left by the mother. Hugs GL! See you tomorrow **yayyy**

Cass

Rubydotlarue said...

Joe looks like his mom! And he looks the same as his baby pic! I agree that life is short and you have to put the past behind you sometimes and take a step foward when it's offered to you. I had an aunt who left her three kids when they were 4, 6 and 8. The dad did a great job of being mom and dad and all three kids turned out great. My aunt would pop in and out of their lives every now and then. Until...about 2 years ago, she came back and stayed and has never looked back. She knows she missed a lot. She knows that each of those kids hold some grudge towards her in some way, but they don't rub it in her face. They include her in their lives as if she was never otu of it in the first place. She has come full circle and deserves a second chance. I am praying for you and for Joe and his mom. I hope that this becomes a GREAT thing for you all and for your children to have another Grandma! Keep us posted!

Brandi said...

Good Luck and Good Thoughts. My husband was in a similar situation seven years ago. His parents divorced when he was 7. He stayed with his dad and his mom got remarried and moved 24 hours away. He lost touch with his Mom for 18 years. One day we got a phone call from his uncle who was his mom's brother. He said Jason's mom was in town visiting family and she would love to see him. He setup a meeting at a restaurant but we were both so nervous. Jason had so many unanswered questions. It all worked out well for us. We had 5 wonderful years with her before she passed away from cancer. Jason's mom admitted that she was young and scared and that's why she left him with his dad. She did everything she could for the 5 years she was involved back in his life to show him that she loved him and missed him. God works in mysterious ways :)

Lexie Loo & Dylan Too said...

That's wonderful that he has such an open mind about it! I hope they are able to begin a relationship!

Carol said...

This story brought tears to my eyes. It's so full of hope, for a new beginning, and opportunity for forgiveness, and/or closure. I hope this turns out to be a blessing for everyone. Godspeed.

Monica said...

Oh wow. I can't imagine being in this situation. I hope everything works out good for both Joe and his mom.

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